Previous England captain Lewis Moody has announced he has been identified with motor neurone disease and stated he cannot yet confront the full consequences of the muscle-degenerating condition that ended the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old athlete, who was a member of the 2003 championship side and secured several English and European titles with Leicester, appeared on BBC Breakfast a fortnight after finding out he has the illness.
"There's an element of facing the future and being reluctant to completely absorb that at the moment," he stated.
"It's not that I am unaware of where it's heading. We understand that. But there is certainly a reluctance to face what's ahead for now."
Moody, conversing with his wife Annie, explains instead he feels "at ease" as he focuses on his immediate health, his family and getting ready for when the disease deteriorates.
"Maybe that's trauma or possibly I process things in another way, and after I have the facts, it's easier," he stated further.
Early Signs
Moody found out he had MND after observing some weakness in his upper arm while exercising in the gym.
After rehabilitation failed to improve the issue, a number of scans showed nerve cells in his central nervous system had been compromised by MND.
"You receive this condition identification of MND and we're understandably extremely moved about it, but it's so strange because I feel like everything is fine," he added.
"I don't experience ill. I don't sense sick
"My symptoms are quite slight. I have a bit of muscle deterioration in the hand area and the upper arm.
"I'm still capable of doing whatever I want. And hopefully that will persist for as long as is possible."
Disease Progression
MND can advance swiftly.
Based on the non-profit MND Association, the disease claims a one-third of people within a 365 days and over half within 730 days of identification, as eating and inhalation become more difficult.
Therapy can only slow decline.
"It's not me that I am upset for," stated an moved Moody.
"There's sadness around having to break the news to my mum - as an sole offspring - and the implications that has for her."
Household Consequences
Speaking from the household with his wife and their canine companion by his side, Moody was consumed with sentiment when he spoke about informing his sons - 17-year Dylan and 15-year Ethan - the devastating news, commenting: "That represented the most difficult thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two brilliant boys and that was pretty heartbreaking," Moody stated.
"We sat on the couch in crying, Ethan and Dylan both hugging in each other, then the dog jumped over and commenced cleaning the tears off our faces, which was rather amusing."
Moody said the focus was being in the moment.
"There exists no cure and that is why you have to be so intensely focused on just embracing and enjoying everything now," he commented.
"As Annie said, we've been very blessed that the primary choice I made when I retired from playing was to devote as much period with the kids as possible. We don't get those periods back."
Sportsman Link
Professional competitors are excessively influenced by MND, with research indicating the incidence of the disease is up to sixfold higher than in the general population.
It is thought that by restricting the air available and creating damage to neural pathways, frequent, strenuous training can activate the condition in those already predisposed.
Rugby Playing Days
Moody, who earned 71 England selections and traveled with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was called 'Mad Dog' during his sports career, in acknowledgment of his brave, persistent method to the game.
He competed through a stress fracture of his leg for a period with Leicester and once caused a practice confrontation with fellow player and friend Martin Johnson when, frustrated, he abandoned a training equipment and started engaging in tackles.
After coming on as a substitute in the Rugby World Cup championship win over Australia in 2003, he claimed a ball at the rear of the throw-in in the crucial passage of play, establishing a base for playmaker Matt Dawson to snipe and Jonny Wilkinson to execute the match-winning drop-goal.
Backing Community
Moody has previously informed Johnson, who skippered England to that title, and a few other ex- team-mates about his diagnosis, but the rest will be finding out his news with the rest of public.
"We'll have a time when we'll need to lean on their support but, at the present, just having that type of love and recognition that people are present is what's important," he commented.
"Rugby is such a excellent family.
"I said to the kids the other day, I've had an incredible life.
"Even when it concluded now, I've valued all of it and accepted all of it and got to do it with unbelievable people.
"When you have the opportunity to label your enthusiasm your profession, it's one of the greatest honors.
"Having accomplished it for so extended a time with the squads that I did it with was a joy. And I understand they will desire to help in every way they can and I await having those conversations."
